Thursday, October 1, 2015

Embracing the Different Runner in Your Relationship

In my household we live and breath Running. Eddie, my partner of eleven years has always enjoyed running way before I became a fan of the sport. For us working out has been something important. Over the years its become one of the reasons its bonded us growing not just our relationship but also our friendship. 

In the past several years we have one thing clearly understood that been healthy is important to us. We both have seen it firsthand the consequences of not taking care of yourself can do to a family and yourself. When Running became our center point that didn't change. We aren't the couple who are always Running together side by side. As a matter of fact, our paces are different. While he is a fast Runner (6-7 pace) I am (9-10 pace). When he tried to slow down for me I could see he was miserable but to please me he would try. Then when I tried at his pace I couldn't keep it up for long distance and was miserable myself. For a while we would end a Run upset and frustrated with each other. Until we realized that wasn’t working for us. Therefore, we began to start a Run together and end at different times or jus take different time slots. At first this was the most upsetting thing to deal with but nowadays is the best solution we've come up.

Last year I wanted to push myself so I sought out his help to improve on pace. That didn't last very long since our views of the right approach to training was different. I kept getting upset by how he was pushing me. Not to say his way is wrong it just isn't my style of coaching. I believe that training shouldn't be the same for everyone. While the basic concepts are the same, everyone's body/skill levels are different so we must Coach according to each person's needs. Perhaps we both had the same message but it just executed differently. You can say this is something we need to work on.

Relationships in general can be challenging so ours obviously are no exception but regardless of the differences we work on supporting each other's goals. If both of us aren't Running together then we are at the finish line waiting for each other. At times when things are tough we are there to uplift each other. When Running plans didn’t go as great, we’ll analyze what happened and come up with solutions together. When we've gone to vacations we'll run the city to explore it. Besides getting in a work-out, this has been the way we are growing together for same goals and to challenge ourselves. 

No relationship is perfect and I am not trying to state ours is. But the important takeaway that you realize both you and your spouse/significant other aren’t the same. Therefore, is key to respect each others differences/needs and embrace them. Be each other’s support system and accountability partner. The one who knows you the best and who can see your potential is your other half. Respect and value each other’s inputs and experiences no matter whether you are just a Beginner! We all have something to share. Is okay if you can’t be the couple that work out together like the cute couples you see in the park. It doesn’t work for everyone and that’s fine. Make it work for you!

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